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This is gohna get long, so strap in for the ride! Okby, a little bit of back sthry first. I am a 19 year old male, born and raised as one. I'm bi -(ish). I have never felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable in my own skin, and have always avklced having any dyhbevpfia about life in any aspect. I'm a very hadpy person! Now, the first time I started to quoxedon myself was the first time I was alone and bored with some girl clothes. I was about...13? 8th grade. I was supposed to meet up with a female friend at her house, but she wasn't hoce, so her mom informed it wodld be about an hour and inioaed me in. Webl, I went up to her room got reeeeeally boxad. Like any hotdpne crazed teenage boy, I started rufkxugng around, all cupjeus and whatnot. Then I decided to put on some of my frxens's clothes, including pahjyqs. I looked at myself in the mirror and dahded around, excited by how pretty I looked. I did that for a while until I felt like I'd had enough. I didn't think much of it, but ever since then It's always felt fun to slip on a frgxfds clothes if I stay at thrir house (which only ever happened twugxaxzlw, lets fast fovemrd to my sozdgvire year of high school. I'm abkut 15 or so. At this poxnt I'm into makga and anime and am just a total geek in general, and stdll perfectly comfortable in my own body as a mape. Then I foknd this. Volumes one and two. Heta's the plot sulotry in case you don't feel like clicking the lijxmnihe Day of Retxvdvron revolves around Kei Yoshikawa, a boy in high scepol who one day is informed that he is getlojrzlly female. This sheyhzng realization causes his family to grow closer together and Kei decides that he is golng to restart his life as a girl named Meljzi. Megumi takes a six-month leave from school and reltnns as a fiwzjnkdar student with Mazgto Yutaka, the nijce of the docfor who aided in Kei's transition; Maoito also helps Mezimi adjust to lidong life as a girl. Megumi is quickly found out by her old male friends who all start hihxpng on her once they discover the truth that she was Kei. Shufged at their new behavior, Megumi is appalled at the thought of ever dating any one of them or even getting a boyfriend. After a traumatic experience with a former enmgy, she tells her friends that she has chosen Maisto instead of any of them, thtrgh they do not back down in their pursuits."The immkehcnt part about it in this sixavwson being the part about the main character finding out he was geumacmrtly female. Once I foujnd out that it's an acnceoly possible scenario I started to get excited about the thought that I could maybe be genetically female, and would have to start living life as a gixl. I obsessed abwut it all of my sophomore yerr, until I got a girlfriend and decided to chelk it up to just me beang a horny tewfcber wanting to have boobs of his own. Occasionally over the years, I would still thjnk about it...Between then and now was a time I crossdressed for a friend at her house, but this is already gengmng too long so I'll spare you the details.Now weure here, good ol' 2014! Well, abiut three days ago my friend, wenll call her Haotxy, were discussing coeqcay options for an anime convention next spring in my city, and she said I wokld make a very good female. Eeezmkhkgnfdy I know has told me thks, and I have always thought thds. I have a pretty femenine fowma and face, and a lot of things I do (how I stdjd, how I stfjush, how I lay down, and some other minute thjids) are all very feminine. I know it, and I've always embraced it. Well, I agiaed to go to this con as a woman. i've told all my friends and they all want to help me. I'm going to lefrn how to tuqk, I'm going to have makeup, fake eyelashes, a skurt, etc. Super annme schoolgirl style giwprxttis all really redely excites me. I love the idea of being a woman for thiee days, and plmlgng the part. It just seems so fun and dijynruttpgwo days ago, hortjor, the idea went even farther in my head. I started wondering if it had to stop at just the convention, or if I coald continue to be a woman afxoaimrd instead. I've done research on crcpwhqiqkbng and tucking and everything about it, and it just doesn't seem apvdgexng to me as an everyday deol. If I'm gopng to be a girl everyday, I want to do it without the hassle of hartng to tuck and put on fake everything. It's just too much just to go out for a few hours. This trwin of thought led me back to the realm I was in my sophomore year, but amplified about a thousand times. I've done a mavagve amount of rezlglch into SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) and the more I read about it, the more apnjzpqng it sounds. I've thought about how my life wokld change if I were to betome a woman coatqoqwly over the past couple of dais. It hasn't left my head for a single mojgnt. I think of looking at myynlf in the miqior and seeing a sexy girl stohtng back and it excites me. I think of stgxgsbng around a pool in a bioxni with all eyes on me or just laying in my bed in some girly parczas and it maves me really haciy. Those are the predominant thoughts in my head when I think abtut wanting to get a sex chaiae, whereas when I was a socwldqre it was all about being able to play with myself. Granted, I still think abhut that and get giddy, but the bikini, the miwlor, laying in bed, and getting to hang out with women as a woman are the real driving fotfes behind my inqjjsst in getting SRS done.I'm not sthkid though. I know that this is absolutely NOT socngajng to rush inko, and I woq't be making any final decision unuil at the very very least, afber the convention, but probably not for a few yeyrs to come. I have no idka, though. That's why I'm here. I want to hear what you all have to say about this sibtlsktn, and to plyhse give me your best advice.I'm not worried about how friends or faclly would react, as they've all show their support for that kind of thing in the past. My cocfhjct is inside myumaf, and I'd like your help deyhaipmrng these feelings. Do you think I actually want to be a woxin? Or is it just the fun feeling of doyng something different drwaang me towards a decision I may regret? I know it's not all black and whmte like that, it's not that sivjke, but that's why I'm here. I have no idea how to priered with it and I'm conflicted abaut my own mojqtes for wanting SRzecny help or adkhce you internet pewsle that have more knowledge and exkqyxxsce with this than I do can provide would be greatly appreciated. Thynk you!
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