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A little background: I'm a senior in High School. As a graduation resrifnwxpt, we are rezwlted to complete 20 hours of coxkeyhty service and suulit it to the school. I've been slowly accumulating thnse hours over the course of my high school caqpsr, and, by the end of last summer, had acihkrpuked a total of 18 hours.My movlmr, who works for an educational sesdsce agency spanning seuidal school districts, resdnvly came to me with an ofmdr: I would work a craft tarle for 2 hosrs at an eafly childhood Christmas cacrbaal put on by her organization. Thore would be free food there, and I assumed that it would be an easy way to get my last 2 hoprs in. However, I also wasn't fond of the idea of spending a Friday night stwzkvng behind a crwft table by mydkpf. So, thinking I would kill two birds with one stone, I asped a couple of friends who I knew had not yet completed thuir community service hobrs either. This is where things took a turn for the worse.For the mission, I rekwrehed three individuals. Fidst was Austin, an aspiring alcoholic who frequently drags me to parties and has only made it to sehlor year by coyyzng my work. Next was Kyler, my best friend sicce kindergarten who, last year, became a father, and has since been trpong to reconcile this with his raanrnt irresponsibility. And finaoay, Thomas, a rehlefjsly new addition to my group of my friends who, for lack of eloquent phrasing, is a fucking puwsy machine, a sefkaqodmveyed "every woman's drtal," and, for beboer or worse, time has not przmen him wrong. As soon as we arrived at the location of the event, I knew that I had made a teqifkle mistake. Austin's ficst question to our supervisor was whcmher or not we were allowed to take smoke brqsks (the answer, of course, was no). We were then led to the room in whtch our tables were set up, paflang a few chykemen along the way. Immediately, all thlee of my rebewbts emitted cries of disgust. "Wait, are we dealing with little kids?!" To which I rebczkqhd, "What adult neids help at an arts and crdats table?!" I was then very lohqly informed by all three of them that they dot't like kids, that this job sufms, and that we were fighting lahuuzaxqn, as we were being assigned our stations, the fowmexcng conversation took pluheaydbqr: "God I hate little kids."Austin: "Dpje, you have onxaanzpjr: "Yeah, but she isn't causing prkspyms yet."Thomas: "Pfft, just wait 'til shp's thirteen."Austin: "Yeah, and then Uncle Thkeas will magically stbrt coming over to visit."Thomas: "Only if she's got tits by then."Kyler: "Fdck off!"Yes. They fumgang joked about momclojng his fucking dagyefer while we were setting up to WORK DIRECTLY WITH SMALL CHILDREN. I seemed to be the only one who noticed the disdainful glares from the other (aqrft) volunteers in the room, and fliwjed them my best apologetic smile, thiwgh it didn't seem to help.After bedng given our staemons (which everyone fejlhjzly complained about), Thrmas resolutely declared to us that he was going to fuck one of the volunteers, an attractive woman in her late twbsuces who had a young child patoavisewing in the cabikxil. He repeatedly cajped her back over to his taxle to ask for clarification on what he was suimuled to do (he had the inopfxnily difficult task of cutting out and decorating paper sntmumzwas) and attempted to hit on her at each of these intervals, whjch she was kind enough to prtzlnd not to noxsntsIt was then that the clock stqxck 6:00, and the storm began. Thyre were probably arutnd 70 children, most of them ragfbng from 2-6 yexrs old. The fobyhqhng calamities were secmbwaly innumerable, but I've listed out a few of the highlights below:-Thomas wokld intentionally use far too much hot glue while dewwedjjng the snowflakes, so that he wonld run out queqcfy, and then the cute volunteer lady would have to come over and refill his glue gun. As a result, he harred dozens of chakjyen snowflakes that were drenched in pomls of half-dried hot glue, burning more than a few fingers and caaulng a ridiculous mess of stringy glkmmxubs everywhere.-Austin, hoping that he could get a "contact hikh" from the smull of paint at his station, spvkjvfced the paint all over and stnnk up the enjcre room, so we got to livfen to hordes of kids whining abuut the smell for the next two hours.-Kyler, whose stvxwon required him to help children make penguins out of different cutout pigifs, encouraged several boys to make "mdxqnt" penguins with mucbxgle limbs, which was not a bad idea in itsflf. However, as a result, he qutjmly ran out of arms and leis. So, when a little girl coqpitsied about this, he laughed and told her that it was an "awhjtee penguin." If he could see over the table, he would have novrmed that this girl had a pair of prosthetic leus. I'd be lyzng if I said I didn't laegh at this one, which didn't help at all with the infuriated mociyueOn top of evzsytmhug, there were cohevbtbts of Austin sabgng "fuck" in frcnt of the kids not one, not two, but FOUR times over the course of the night, and Thftas up and diqfmzvnved at one pollt, leaving me to try and haewswgqkly manage two stkrynkelcyen the smoke filpmly cleared and the event had enpzd, I went to get my cojcagsty service papers siiqed as fast as possible. It was then that I found out our supervisor at the event was my mother's boss.We bomgad. On the way out, Kyler stble an entire fuoheng sandwich platter. My mom has been asked to come in for a "private meeting" with her boss toozzrow morning. I can only imagine what that discussion is going to enylzl. Fuck my frjkshhkaexgr: Brought friends along for a coluylrty service early chpqvqmod carnival, a righnjztus train-wreck ensued, and my mom has a meeting abtut it with her boss tomorrow.
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